How do you survive grief and loss? Grief is a powerful emotion. It can profoundly and irrevocably change our lives. The world seems to crash, there’s a feeling of emptiness and hollowness, and it’s hard to imagine life ever feeling normal again. But does it always feel the same? Does everyone grieve the same way? How to know when it’s time to “move on” and start living again?
There is no “right” answer to any of these thoughts. How we grieve is as individual as we are. Some of us find solace in talking about our prised memories. Others prefer to keep their thoughts and feelings private. There is no wrong way to grieve.
What is paramount is that we allow ourselves the time and space to grieve. It is a process, not linear, but eventually, with time and support, we can start rebuilding our lives.
What Causes Grief?
We all like to associate the death of someone special with grief. And while it is undoubtedly the most common and intense cause, it is not the only one. Any loss can cause grief:
• Death of a loved one
• End of a relationship
• Losing a job or source of income
• Diagnosis of a terminal illness
• Loss of a pet
• A miscarriage
• Retirement
Grief is the natural and healthy reaction whenever life strips us of something we love or value. It is a sign of being alive and having loved deeply. But grief can quickly envelop us and become all-consuming. How do we prevent that from happening? How to survive grief and loss?
We’d say start by understanding it.
The Stages of Grief
In the 1960s, Swiss psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross first proposed five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
Each stage is a normal and necessary part of the healing process. It is important to remember that not everyone experiences all five stages and that they do not necessarily occur in this order. You may skip some altogether or move back and forth between stages.
Denial: “This can’t be happening to me.”
Anger: “Why is this happening? It’s not fair.”
Bargaining: “If I just do X, maybe Y will happen.”
Depression: “I’m so sad and helpless. What’s the point?”
Acceptance: “This is reality. How can I make the best of it?”
The important thing is to allow yourself to feel whatever you are feeling. Suppressing or repressing your emotions will make the grieving process harder and longer. It’s okay to be angry, to bargain, to be depressed. These are all part of coming to terms with your loss.
How to Survive Grief and Loss?
Some people believe that ignoring their grief will make it go away. But grief doesn’t work like that. You must feel and process grief to resolve it.
Another common myth is that moving on in life means forgetting the loss we suffered. But that’s not the case either.
We can never forget the people and things we have loved and lost, but eventually, we can learn to live with the pain and find joy again. And that’s precisely what life is about. Remember, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.
If you’re wondering how to survive grief and loss, here are some tips that’ll pull you out of the deepest stages of mourning:
Acknowledge Your Pain:
Don’t try to bottle up your emotions. Let yourself feel the sadness, anger, and despair. It’s the only way to start working through your grief. Building a wall to protect yourself will make the grieving process harder. It would help if you accepted that grief could trigger a host of feelings. You may feel disoriented, helpless, and even enraged. And that’s “normal”! So, feel, don’t conceal!
Realise that Grief Affects Your Body, Too:
Grief can leave its mark on your physical health. It can cause insomnia, loss of appetite, and even physical pain. You might feel lethargic and unable to get out of your bed. May cry uncontrollably one minute and feel perfectly fine the next. The desire of not wanting to eat today and starve yourself tomorrow. That’s a roller coaster of feelings and your body’s way of grieving. So, be easy on yourself and take good care of your health during this challenging time.
Give Yourself Time to Grieve:
There is no set timeline for grief. You may feel better after a few weeks, or it may take months or even years. Don’t try to rush the grieving process. Don’t feel guilty for taking your time. And if you’re able to recover sooner than someone else, don’t think that means your loss wasn’t as significant.
Talk About It:
Luckily, most of us have a support system we can fall back on during tough times. Whether it’s our family, friends, or a professional therapist, talking about your grief can help immensely. When they offer help, please take it. There’s no reason you should feel shy or embarrassed to ask for assistance in your time of need. There are several group therapies available as well if you’re not comfortable talking about your feelings one-on-one.
Try Distraction Techniques:
There will be times when memories spam your lonely nights. When that happens, try to engage in some form of distraction. Go for a long walk, read a motivational book, watch a light movie, or listen to good music. Whatever helps you take your mind off your grief for even a little while can be helpful. You can also use the innovative Daily Grief Card Desktop Flipbooks to help you cope with your sadness. These creative activities and statements can offer comfort when you least expect it.
Conclusion:
When all rays of hope seem to fade, when the feelings of loneliness continue to invade, when you can’t find a comforting shade… remember, grief is only a phase. You will get through this! Don’t stop looking for the positivity that will soon bring back sunshine into your life. Learn how to survive grief and loss by giving yourself time. Channel your emotions into creative outlets, and most importantly, don’t let any thoughts of self-harm enter your mind. Take it one day at a time. You got this!